


Skulduggery's List

by JosieRuby1



Category: Skulduggery Pleasant - Derek Landy
Genre: Enemies, Fun, Past enemies, and he doesnt forget, just for fun, past friends, silly things, skulduggery doesn't forgive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 15:56:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16329053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JosieRuby1/pseuds/JosieRuby1
Summary: When you've lived as long as Skulduggery you make a lot of enemies, but some of the 'enemies' came for silly reasons





	Skulduggery's List

**Author's Note:**

> Day 11 of Fictober: “But I will never forget!”  
> [I'm hugely behind because of getting a job and I'm likely not going to be able to do all the prompts, so I'll be picking and choosing]

When you’ve lived as long as Skulduggery Pleasant had, you made enemies and a lot of them. Of course, there are the big ones, the ones who caused a searing hatred in the space in his chest, the ones who he almost wished to bring back from the dead to kill again. But there were the others as well. There were the ones that were just a mild irritation, the ones that you would jibe and snipe with but who left your minds when you were no longer around them. Skulduggery had a list of people he couldn’t stand, the people who he was perhaps just looking for an excuse to kill. The reasons varied but some of them were just plain ridiculous

**Cerulean Smith**

The problem was the name. When a sorcerer chose their name, they could pick any word any name, from any language, they could even make up a word. It was an incredible opportunity that the mortals would never be able to understand. It gave the self some added power and independence. And, of course, Skulduggery had met some people with ridiculous names but he could not understand why anyone with a world of words available to them would make the conscious clear-minded decision to be called Smith. Cerulean was a beautiful word and made for a great name but it would forever be tainted by the fact that she called herself Smith.

**Masu Loathly**

For a while there had been three of them, they didn’t do missions together very often but when they did they were close. Skulduggery Masu and Salamander Darkness. They acted as though they hated each other but they did it in that way that only the closest of friends could do. Or at least, so Skulduggery and Salamander had thought. That was of course up until Masu had tried to kill them both. Skulduggery was absolutely indignant at the action and Masu had ended up dying when the pair defended themselves. The problem was Salamander did something much, much worse.

**Salamander Darkness**

It had been an accident, Salamander insisted over and over, but that didn’t matter to Skulduggery. The fact was that it had happened and there was no way he could allow that to be unaccounted for. Salamander was a fine hand at sword and knife work, someone who you would think could be trusted not to do any damage to your perfectly tailored, specially designed suit. And yet that was exactly what had happened. During the fight with Masu, Salamander’s knife had sliced through the arm of Skulduggery’s suit and Skulduggery did not forget or forgive things like that.

**Thorn Scruple**

Thorn’s problem was that she thought she was funny. Now, Skulduggery knows that not everyone appreciated his humour, but at least he had a decent humour and didn’t rely on puns surrounding the same dry subject constantly. Thorn was interesting and he had appreciated her company for a while but honestly, hearing about how he was a ‘dead good’ hero and how people would be ‘dying’ to see him in action constantly was just too much for him to handle for very long.

**Fable Sooth**

Fable was a good friend of Skulduggery’s for a while. They had worked together on a number of missions. Fable appreciated Skulduggery’s humour in a way that not many people seemed to. They also liked to compliment Skulduggery a lot and when you have an ego like he does, compliments sit very very well. There was just one problem, one thing that made it almost impossible for them to remain partners, let alone friends. Fable Sooth had scratched Skulduggery’s car. They were one of only a few people Skulduggery ever let drive the Bentley, and Fable was a big part of why he didn’t let people very often. Fable came back from a mission with a faint but obvious scratch line along the driver’s side door. Unacceptable.

**Zephyr Aire**

Did it really count as making them his enemy if the reason he saw them as an enemy was because of the way they died? He wasn’t sure but Zephyr was definitely on his list. The suit he had been wearing that day was on its first spin. It was, in Skulduggery’s opinion, one of Ghastly’s best works. Skulduggery had only been wearing the suit around three hours when Zephyr went and died on him. Literally on him. Blood and guts and gore all over his brand new super trendy suit.

**Sybil Pain**

Skulduggery wasn’t a particularly sombre person, that’s not how he considered himself at least. He took his job seriously of course, but he knew how to be fun, how to make jokes. But there was a limit. Sybil was a sweet girl, who had chosen the name Pain out of irony because she wanted to rid the world of pain. She was kind-hearted and as gentle as it was possible to be when you were a sorcerer working within the Irish sanctuary. And she was just so damn upbeat. All the time. She never had a dull moment, never a sad moment, never a hurt moment. Every single moment she was perky and jolly and basically a walking rainbow and it got to the point where he wanted to crush her just to stop the damn happiness for a moment.

**Chaos Legacy**

As a living skeleton, there were certain things Skulduggery didn’t need to do that differed from normal humans. There was no need for him to use the bathroom, no need for him to style his hair, no need to eat or drink. And yet, there was something within Chaos that insisted that they made food for him, every single time they met up. Sometimes it was a stew or a pie, sometimes it was a packet of crisps or a sandwich, every time it was offered with sincere hope and every time Skulduggery had to turn it away, and in the end, he had snapped at them. And still, they had tried giving him food. Skulduggery was done at that point

**Rose Cloud**

Rose Cloud probably committed the worst of crimes. Now, Skulduggery had spent a long time in Ireland, centuries even, he had seen some sights when people drank too much. He had seen the fights, the chanting, the singing, the love confessions, the vomit, he had seen the lot. But, as someone who couldn’t drink, he had kept a safe barrier between himself and them. Rose Cloud had brought him right smack bang in the centre of it. She had gotten drunk and she had… she had tried to kiss him. Decades later he still shuddered at the thought.


End file.
